587 photos? Sweet – I can probably go through all of that in one sitting. 300 photos later… Ha! A photo of her in middle school! Sigh… even back then she was perfect!
Don’t deny it – you’ve all done it. The jealousy inside of you compels you to look through Jacqueline’s photos, the girl you’ve always found to be gorgeous, or Alison, the girl who stole the love of your life.
The beauty of Facebook is that we can follow people we would not normally talk to otherwise. Seriously, what’s the point of checking out your best friends’ profiles if you already know everything about them? That’s no fun – you want to learn more about that girl you’ve been jealous of, or the boy you’ve been crushing on. Plus, it’s socially acceptable!
It’s not so easy these days though. I have to be careful not to leave a trace of evidence, especially once I get to those photos back in 2008. The last thing I’d want is to press the ‘like’ button accidentally. How obvious and utterly embarrassing would it be for John to know that I’m stalking his photos from 4 years ago?
That also goes for posts and other notifications that get published on someone’s profile page. Thanks to the timeline feature, I can now easily scroll back in time to see the series of unfortunate ex-girlfriends my crush has had.
I must add that I’ve become a pretty good liar. I may not see these people I Facebook stalk very often, but during any encounters we have had, I know to act completely surprised and pretend I didn’t know a thing before they tell me anything new. The truth is, I already saw it all on their Facebook but I wasn’t going to let them know!
However, it seems like no matter how careful I’ve been throughout the years, there’s no way to be careful enough. With Facebook possibly one day letting users identify who has visited which posts, I may be in deep, deep trouble. That’s it Facebook – I give up. You win.
